


What's the good in being good?

by erintoknow



Series: Aria-Rough Drafts [43]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén, Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Morning After, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Slow Burn, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 01:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21291299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erintoknow/pseuds/erintoknow
Summary: Oh my god, what did you just do?
Relationships: Ortega/Sidestep (Fallen Hero)
Series: Aria-Rough Drafts [43]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604665
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	What's the good in being good?

Things are spiraling out of control.

Don’t think about what you just did – last night? This night? This morning? You haven’t actually slept yet. Or, well, jumped into Jane’s body which is your usual divider between units of time these days.

You roll over on your bed, press a pillow over your face. The joy of soft fabric against too-warm skin. Whatever plans you had for the day can wait. Got home in the early AM. No sleep tonight, and for once it’s not because of nightmares or masquerading as Jane.

You-as-Jane agreed to work with Dr. Mortum… against your self? Is that how it works? Jane and the doctor haven’t talked since the auction fiasco. You’ve been putting that off for almost a week now. Can’t keep doing that. Need to arrange a meeting. You have Mortum’s teleportation gun. Maybe that will help mollify things? Except you also sort of technically stole it from her during the chaos.

Also, the gun spat out the goddamn Catastrofiend? Or some twisted fun-house mirror version. So. Now the Catastrofiend was loose somewhere in the city again, and even more fucked up than ever. How long had it been in that gun? What was it Mortum said? Things stored in the – the quantum bubble degraded over time? Would that make defeating Catastrofiend easier or harder?

And now Lady Argent knows who you are. Not _what_ you are, not entirely, but enough to hang you with. Can’t avoid her forever. Going by the lack of police breaking down your apartment or Rangers hounding your ever move, she’s keeping her word to keep it secret. But for how long. As long as you’re working on the regenerator you have leverage. If you get it working, get the life free of the orange brand that haunted you all these years, will you still even have a life to live?

What do you even want, Ariadne? What do you want out of life? For a while it seemed so clear, so obvious. Strike back. Strike down. Seize control of your own life again. Make the people that hurt you pay, make them regret not leaving you be. You’d seize the rotten secret of what the Directive does and you’d drag it into the disinfectant of the light. If the Directive was the law, and the law decided what was right and wrong, then you’d toss it aside. Toss all of them aside.

Tossing aside, it should be noted, didn’t mean _sleep with with the ex-marshal_.

Well– technically, you didn’t, except no yeah, you kind of did, but then again, you didn’t really do anything but then again, like– Undressed. Same bed. You touched her. She touched you.

She said she loved you – loves you? Everything still feels sharp in your mind. A precious rarity given how unreliable your memory can be at times. Couldn’t say it back. Not even really sure what it would mean to say it. Can’t say you really know what it is, what it means. But – if you loved her back, really, truly did so, then… you wouldn’t be lying to her, would you? What will you do if you have to face her again? Charge Vs. Adrestia?

You’ll have to tell her. Everything. It’s the only way to be fair. But – but not now. It won’t end well, you’re sure of it. And is it so wrong to want to be happy?

Is that what this whole thing is about, at the core of it? Why else try to take back control of your life, why else try to expose the evil the Directorate is enmeshed in? Dr. Finch keeps saying you deserve to be happy. Chelsea used to say that too. Julia, Anathema… Would any of them still say you deserve to be happy, if they knew the truth? Would Anathema still be alive, if you hadn’t insisted on inserting yourself into a situation you didn’t belong?

Your cellphone buzzes from the bottom of your purse at the base of your bed. With a groan you roll over, grope a hand down around the floor until you fish it up. Ortega. Of course, who else?

> Sparkles: Did you get home okay?

You cover your mouth as you fight a smile. Of course that’s her first question. ‘y_es, mom’_ You type back, making a point to undo the default capitalization. Predictive typing can take your lowercase text from your cold dead fingers.

Three dots as she types a reply.

> Sparkles: Don’t be like that!! I’m just checking in
> 
> Becker: just teasing
> 
> Becker: um
> 
> Becker: thanks for asking
> 
> Sparkles: Of course!!
> 
> Sparkles: Listen thanks for having dinner with me
> 
> Sparkles: Last night and for
> 
> Sparkles: You know
> 
> Becker: i
> 
> Sparkles: And
> 
> Sparkles: Trusting me
> 
> Becker: uh, haha
> 
> Becker: i feel like i should be thanking you
> 
> Becker: you really uh
> 
> Becker: haha uh geeze
> 
> Becker: i’m tearing up again sorry sorry
> 
> Sparkles: Oh no!!
> 
> Becker: no, no
> 
> Becker: it’s the like, good crying? like, you did it sparkles congrats
> 
> Sparkles: Congrats??
> 
> Becker: you unlocked the legendary second emotion, now in addition to sad crying i can happy cry too
> 
> Becker: uh
> 
> Becker: that was a joke
> 
> Becker: you can laugh at that
> 
> Sparkes: Ari…
> 
> Sparkles: I meant what I said last night you know that right?
> 
> Becker: you say a lot of things
> 
> Sparkles: Touché but
> 
> Sparkles: I’ll do whatever it takes to save you okay? I know you don’t want me getting involved and I have to respect that
> 
> Becker: am i still talking to julia ortega?
> 
> Sparkles: Oh har har you, hush
> 
> Sparkles: What I mean is
> 
> Sparkles: Whatever you want to tell me I’ll listen I promise you there’s nothing you could tell me that would make me think less of you
> 
> Becker: that’s
> 
> Becker: there you go with your wild promises again
> 
> Sparkles: Just I’m here for you okay?
> 
> Becker: i
> 
> Becker: okay
> 
> Becker: i’m
> 
> Becker: i’m here for you too? it’s uh it’s not right if this is some one-way deal
> 
> Sparkles: Ari…
> 
> Sparkles: Well in that case…
> 
> Becker: oh no
> 
> Sparkles: Relax!! The computer in my… other office is acting up lately, do you mind coming in and looking at it?
> 
> Becker: seriously? uh sure? what exactly’s up with it?

It takes another fifteen minutes of back and forth with Ortega to settle on a time and date. Well. Couldn’t avoid the Rangers HQ forever. Maybe you’ll luck out and Argent won’t be in when you visit.

Who are you kidding, you’ll probably walk right into her, knowing your luck. Another reason to start going over the Regenerator plans. Don’t want her getting antsy.

Can’t hide from the world forever.

You drop your phone to your side on the bed and shut your eyes. Breath in. Breath out. Can’t hide forever. And neither can Jane. Shouldn’t put this off any longer. Time to call a certain doctor. Maybe it’s time to arrange a proper meeting.

Try to salvage what good you can get.


End file.
